Grief

BY ASHLEY DE LEÓN

Grief

A 5 letter word that contains all my offenses

A 5 letter word that demands all my senses

Grief

Can you feel it in your gut?

the way you GRIT your teeth and wish you were UNDERNEATH

Somewhere in a world where the pain would CEASE

Grief

My enemy, my friend

The place I’m afraid to go, I see NO END

Grief

Are you for me or against me?

This feeling, this pain, it’s unending

Grief

I find you in the strangest of places

Scattered in human faces

I feel you in my bones

Tucked away but sitting on a throne

I hear you on the phone

When I speak to the ones that raised me (pause)

Grief

What do you want from me?

I think you forgot to mention the goodness of your intention

They say I should feel you

Say hello and sit with you

Call you friend and embrace you

I’m afraid if I let you close, you will never let me go

Trapped in the prison of your existence

Broken, stuck in shackles of resistance

But what if im wrong?

The truth is I’ve judged you all along, closed my heart to you, grabbed the keys from you and threw them into the pit of HELL

But you know me all to WELL…

Oh I’m stuck, fucked, feeling struck

I hear you at the door.. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

You ask me questions I don’t want to answer

You take me places I don’t want to go

You make me feel things I’m afraid of

(Change tone to curious)

“Ashley, do you want the pain to stop?”

Then we must come to a stop.

Sit here a minute, let’s talk.

So for today; I welcome you.

I share my history.

I sit in your mystery

I open the door, and hand you the keys to my destiny.

For Today, I embrace you

Afraid, trembling & uncertain

Come me be with me, and open the curtain

There is no way but through.

Hold my hand in the fire, be gentle with my desires. I give my trust to you.

Grief

A 5 letter word that describes a lifelong journey

A 5 letter word, which you CANNOT hurry..